My Journey to Becoming A Mother-in-law : Part 2 - Majlis Berinai (Henna Ceremony)

There are two types of Majlis Berinai (Henna Ceremony) ie Berinai Kecil (Minor Henna) and Berinai Besar (Major Henna). Berinai Kecil is normally performed before the solemnisation ceremony ( Akad Nikah) and involves only the bride. The Berinai Besar is done when the couple has gone through the solemnisation and is therefore legally married, and both the bride and groom are involved.


For Darlina ,the Majlis Berinai was held on Friday night before the wedding and since she had not gone through the solemnisation ceremony, it was a Berinai Kecil.It was supposed to start at 8.00pm but as Malaysians, we were fashionably late.We were waiting for my sister to bring the henna to be used for the ceremony. She had personally pounded the henna leaves to a paste.


When we were ready to start the ceremony, Darlina sat on the dais which had been erected for the occasion.She looked demure in a dark green kebaya ( a traditional dress comprising of a fitting tunic and long fitting skirt) made of songket (cloth weaved with gold thread).What was special was that the kebaya was the same one I wore for my wedding almost 33 years ago ! And it fit her like a glove.

Darlina sat on the dais with her palms on her knees facing upwards. A betel vine was placed on each palm. The ceremony began with my mother-in-law blessing the bride by placing a bit of henna on each palm followed by potpourri made of thinly-sliced pandan leaves and jasmine petals. This was followed by sprinkling scented water on her. I was next, and other female family members and friends then performed the blessing.

Once the blessing was over ,Darlina had her hands and feet painted with henna by a professional henna artist. The rest of us enjoyed the food prepared by the caterer comprising of tomato rice,ayam masak merah (chicken in red sauce),acar timun (cucumber and pineapple salad),dalca (mild vegetable curry) and papadom (crackers). As for the bride to be, as her hands had henna, her close friends fed her !

Seeing the beautiful intricate design on Darlina's hands and feet,family members couldn't resist to have their hands painted as well. 

Awesome Mulu

Mulu caves have been on my "bucket" list of travel places to see but like most people ,it's way down on my priority list just because " it's there". What finally made me decided to go was because of the insistence of another friend who wanted to go before her knees give way as she would be turning 70 this year.

So there we were up at an unearthly hour at 4.45am to get ready to go to LCCT for our 7.20am Air Asia flight to Miri. We arrived at 9.30am and had plenty of time to explore Miri town because our connecting Mas Wings flight to Mulu was at 2.00pm. The flight to Mulu was just half an hour and before we knew it we were descending to Mulu Airport. A van was waiting to take us to Royal Mulu Resort which is situated in lush green surroundings along the banks of a river. We had missed out on the 2.30pm guided tour of the caves and had to content with finding things to do on our own. So we took the Resort van to the Park Headquarters which was 5 minutes away. From there we took a slow walk along a 3.8km boardwalk to the Bat Observatory.There were just the four of us and the jungle. The air was stagnant and humid. We passed peat swamps, streams and giant tree buttress.After almost 45 minutes suddenly the leaves rustled above in an almost mystical way.

My friends decided to stop for a breather while my husband and I continued with the walk. The observatory was just round the corner. We shouted across to let our friends know but our voices were lost in the dense jungle. We sat on the plank seats at the observatory, our eyes glued to the entrance of the cave hoping to see the daily ritual of the bats flying out. Unfortunately it rained. We took shelter in the cafe and continued to wait, hoping the rain would clear up. We were told that the bats would not come out if it rained. The rain cleared but no bats.We waited till dusk and then decided to make our way back. Although it was twilight the boardwalk was not dark as there were lights at regular intervals. As we walk in the semi darkness we became more concious of the sounds of the jungle- crickets, insects,birds and monkeys. Our friends who didn't join us at the observatory apparently had gone back to the hotel when it rained and were worried about us as they thought we were lost. 

The next day after breakfast we gathered at the lobby at 8.50am for our first guided tour. From the hotel jetty we took a traditional long boat upstream along the Melinau River,meandering through brown shallow waters and manouvering around shallow pebble bars. Our first stop was at Batu Bungan ,a Penan Village. We walked through the settlement to a Tamu or market area where local villagers displayed their crafts for sale. There were woven baskets and mats, knives and blow pipes and jewellery ,all made from materials from the forest. There was also a display and write-up of the history and background of the Penan people and the settlement.

After 15 minutes we made our way upstream again. After a short journey we disembarked from the boat and a short walk and up several steps took us to Wind Cave. The cave is shaped like an oval tunnel with a defined ceiling and wall, and reminded me of the SMART tunnel in KL. As we walked inside the cave we could feel a cool breeze. Soon it became clear where the breeze was coming from. In the centre of the cave where the roof had caved in, was an opening. It was not only a source of ventilation but also of light to the cave interior.

We retraced our steps and took another path to Clearwater Cave. At the rest area just before the caves, the river ends abruptly in a pool. We saw some tourist taking a dip.In order to get to the caves we had to climb 200 steps. My seventy year old friend decided to give it a miss as she was panting after a few steps.The three of us decided that the steps were not going to deter us, so up we went,although we had to stop at intervals to catch our breath.The cave has a gushing river flowing through it. The water was crystal clear (hence the name) and meandered alongside the path that we walked.

When we came out from the caves back to the rest area ,we realised where the source of the Melinau River was. The river was inviting and we couldn't resist taking a dip in the cool and invigorating water.

After lunch back at the hotel, we were told that the next guided tour was at 2.45pm. The guys were not too keen after the tiring climb in the morning. But both of us ladies were in high spirits and were ready for another long walk.My husband was eventually persuaded to come along. The shuttle van took us back to the Park Headquarters. From there we walked again along the 3.8km boardwalk to the Bat Observatory where we had a short rest.. Along the way our guide pointed out to us interesting insects ,animals and plants.We then proceeded to Lang Cave, said to be the most beautiful cave. It was not a very big cave but it was indeed beautiful. The stalagtites and stalagmites were in various shapes -cauliflower,pinnacles,cloud,ice cream cone,totem pole. In the centre was a big chamber with low ceiling like a ballroom.

Our next destination was Deer Cave, the largest cave passage in the world. It was hugh,humongous. The ceiling is more than 30 storeys high. The sheer magnitude of the cave is awesome. The pictures that I took and my description of it do not do justice to it.It's home to 2 to 3 million bats and not surprisingly, once inside the smell of bat quano was unmistaken and can be overpowering to some. The quano piled as high as a three storey building on the cave floor. I remarked that I had not seen so much shit in my life ! Halfway in, we arrived at an opening in the wall that looked like a giant spotlight, lighting up the interior of the cave. After almost a kilometre in, we came upon another opening and beyond it we could see lush trees and plants. That area was aptly called The Garden of Eden. At one part of the cave there was a stalagtite that had water dripping from it and looks like a shower and is aptly called the shower head.

We retraced our steps to the Bat Observatory and waited for dusk. At about 6.00pm the ranger shouted that they were coming. Apparently the park installed a camera at the mouth of the cave and any movement of the bats could be seen from the close circuit TV in the cafe. All eyes were focused on the sky above and there they were looking like a swarm of bees against the evening sky.As they flew out, they swirled in a formation that looked like a serpent slitering away as cameras clicked non stop to catch the spectacle. After the first batch ,another batch came out. Then another and another. We waited until it grew dark and then made our way to the Park Headquaters where our van was waiting to take us back to our hotel.

Two nights in Mulu was certainly too short. There are other trails to hike and other attractions like the canopy walk, night walk,waterfalls to enjoy and mountains to climb. I told myself that I must made a point to come again and hopefully I don't wait until I am 70 !