My Journey To Becoming A Mother-in-law : Part 3 - The Akad Nikah

The day started with a flurry of activities. They were last minute touch-ups and arrangements that needed to be made. On top of that, I had a bevy of guest that I need to serve breakfast to.The make-up artist, Ian Sham and photographer, Fad Manaf arrived at 8.30am and started with their work.All of us were dressed and ready by 9.00am.

The groom's entourage arrived at 9.45am as scheduled. They were greeted outside the gate by my sisters-in law who sprinkled scented water and saffron rice as a mark of welcome. The entourage was led by male family members ,each carrying a crystal tray bearing a gift. They were followed by the parents and other family members,all 40 of them.Inside the house compound my husband and I were waiting to welcome and usher them in.

Once inside the house, the seven trays bearing the gifts were placed next to our nine trays which were already lined up on the floor.Everybody took their places with the men on one side and the ladies on another.The groom was seated on a white velvet cushion and my husband took his place in front of him.It was only then that I brought Darlina down from her room to be seated on another cushion,surrounded by the ladies.There she was, looking so pretty and demure, on the verge of embarking on a new phase of her life.

The MC began the ceremony by welcoming everybody. My brother-in-law, as spokesman for our family said a few welcoming words. The groom's spokesman then mentioned about the intention of their entourage and presented the seven trays of gifts comprising of a betel vine set, a jewellery set together with the wang hantaran (dowry),handbag and shoes,Quran and telekong(prayer clothes),toiletries,a watch and a cake. My brother-in-law indicated acceptance of the gifts and presented in return our nine trays comprising of a betel vine set, a ring, a watch, a pair of shoes,a wallet and belt set,a Quran and sejadah(prayer mat),toiletries,a shirt and tie, and a cake.

The Kadhi (priest) precided over the ceremony. He started by explaining why marriage is encouraged by Islam and what are the virtues of marriage. He then explained to the bride and groom their responsibilities as husband and wife. Then came the most important part of the ceremony- the 'akad nikah' or solemnisation ceremony. My husband as father of the bride,performed the 'akad nikah' which was followed by the groom accepting the marriage. This was followed by the Kadhi reciting a prayer so that the marriage is blessed by God.

The groom then placed the ring on Darlina's finger and put the necklace around her neck. He also presented her the other jewellery and 'wang hantaran'. He kissed her forehead as an expression of love and she reciprocated by kissing his hands as a sign of respect.

I don't know what is it about weddings, but most of the ladies were teary-eyed. In my case it was more like a burst dam. I guess my emotions were mixed between happiness and sadness. Happy that my daughter is starting a new life with the one she loves and sad that I am 'losing my baby'.

As tears were wiped away,the couple then proceeded to the dais outside the house and performed the exchange of rings.

Following that, was time for refreshments where guest partook local delicacies like 'roti jala'(pancake),noodles and kuih-muih (sweet cakes) and the couple mingled with the crowd.